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Sunday, 27th January 2008
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This week I spent a bit of time talking to some good friends about some problems that I’m having at the moment. It always helps to have some great people you can always turn to no matter what is going on in your life, and they will be there for you to help you out in whatever way they can. That’s the true meaning of friendship I think.
Friendship is a tricky thing though. You need to strike a balance between being yourself and looking after your own life as well as being their for your friends. It sounds quite easy but in reality it is quite difficult. For instance, if you’re in a relationship, how do you juggle time with your other half and time with your friends? There are two things that you could try to help you out in this situation.
First, work out whats really important to you and then spend time doing activities that align with that. For instance if its more important to spend time with your friends, don’t be in a serious relationship that won’t let you do that! However if your main priority is improving your relationship then allocate time to doing that. Your true friends will understand what you’re doing and why as long as you let them know! Strike a balance with what’s most important to you.
The other thing to try is work out what you’ve invested in the friendship and determine if it’s equal? For example one of my friends has a really big heart and goes above and beyond for her friends all the time. Unfortunately though some of her friends take advantage of that and aren’t there for her to return the favour. Clearly in this case, things aren’t equal so she might want to stop investing so much time in that friendship and seek better connections with people who appreciate her for the great person she is.
Speaking of great people, I received an email from another friend of mine who’s a big fan of Dream,Build,Inspire,Lead! I asked her advice on some issues and this is part of the wisdom that she offered:
“I’ve learnt that people come into your life for a reason, season or a lifetime.And its these people who are there for a purpose at that point in time, because you choose them to be. They are there to help you with the struggles that are going on at that particular time in your life. That might mean that someone can guide you through the pain and difficulties and turn them into opportunities.”
So true! It’s very similar to one of my favourite quotes by a philosopher called Javan and it goes something like this:
“We are born into this world like a blank canvas. And each person that crosses our path takes up the brush and makes their mark upon our surface. So it is that we develop. But we must realize there comes a day when we must take up the brush and finish the work ourselves. For only we can determine if we are to be just another painting or a masterpiece.”
I’m glad I’ve got some great people who are willing to make their mark on my canvas, because I dont’ think I’m ready to pick up the brush just yet!
Finally I received this story via email about friendship and the extent that one person will go to make another happy. So this week, I challenge you to discover and improve the quality of your existing friendships because you never know when you’ll have difficulties in your life and might need some help in turning them into opportunities.
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Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end.
They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.
The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.
As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene. One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band, he could see it in his mind ‘s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. Days, weeks and months passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed. It faced a blank wall.
The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.”
Epilogue:
There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.
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Dream, Build, Inspire, Lead!
AJ~
Author: AJ Kulatunga
Category:
friendship, friends, inspire
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The Art In You
Sunday, 20th January 2008
I had a great week last week! BLKMGK ICT won a major development contract, plus a few other smaller web contracts. We submitted our grant application to HP and it has apparently been well received - although nothing is certain yet! And I had some good conversations with people that I hadn’t seen in a long time. All of this is pretty routine stuff for me but even though I enjoy it very much, sometimes you just need to break your routine and get out there and do something different.
So last week I decided to go visit an art exhibition at our local Museum and Art Gallery. There’s just something about art that I find fascinating. Which is kind of ironic because I’m definitely not artistic by any means. In fact, when I draw a stick figure, people are thoroughly confused as to what it is...
The exhibition that I went to last week was called Inspire/Expire and it is basically a showcase of Australian artists and what inspired them.
With art is that there is no real right or wrong answer in how to interpret it. You read about the artist, read about the painting and basically come to your own conclusion about why the artist chose to represent the topic at hand in such a manner. Its fascinating stuff!
The other thing about museums and art galleries is the people that attend. There’s always a varied bunch of tourists, critics and guys trying to impress their girlfriends that they know art inside out! It’s quite entertaining.
My favourite painting from the whole exhibition was this one called Shambala. When you first look at the painting it seems as though the artist got drunk one night and started throwing paint around a canvas, but when you step closer to the painting you actually realise the intricacies of it. Amongst all the paint streaks there are hundreds of little Buddha images and its almost like the artist is revealing a hidden message. It’s a lovely painting and just goes to show that things are not always what they seem.
The other thing that amazed me about all the paintings were that some of them were donated from recently deceased private art collectors. I wonder what makes a person want to collect art, and if they really do enjoy sitting and looking at the paintings that they collect? Most of the time, people buy paintings for cosmetic reasons because they seem to light up a room or add the right touch of atmosphere to a house but rarely have I seen anyone buy a painting simply because they enjoy looking at it.
All in all it was a great experience and so this week I challenge you to break out of your routine and go look at something different that makes you think and discover the art in you!
Dream, Build, Inspire, Lead!
AJ~
Author: AJ Kulatunga
Category:
inspire, art
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The Ugly Duckling
Sunday, 13th January 2008
Today we had a buddhist ceremony at my folks’ place and we invited the resident buddhist monk along. During the ceremony the monk told the old fairytale The Ugly Duckling but unfortunatley he got the story wrong and forgot to mention one crucial detail in the story. Without going into too much detail, he told the story by saying how one duckling was very different from all the other ducklings and they all used to pick on him because he was different; and how one day when the duckling was all grown up everyone admired him because he was quite stunning. His point was that one day people will pick on us but in time to come when we’re all grown up people will admire us.
He forgot to mention one important key aspect of the story...the duckling was never a duck, he was a swan!
How the story’s meant to be told is that the ugly duckling was picked on and outcast by the other ducks but one day he embarked upon some swans, who immediately took him under their wings and as he grew older he realised that he was never a duck but in actual fact a swan and quite a lovely one at that.
So what’s the point of the whole story??? Well thats the beautiful thing about fairy tales you can extract whatever meaning you like from them, so in this case I’m going to extract it as follows.
1. When you hang around the wrong people, obviously things aren’t going to work out for you. People may tease you for not fitting in, or ignore you or cause you all sorts of grief for whatever their reasons be.
2. But when you find your niche, and your thing, then you will blossom into something great and really start to enjoy life and live it to its fullest.
So if you find yourself stuck in a rut (perhaps with a bout of Hamster Syndrome) perhaps you should look at the groups of people that you interact with closely and see if you might have picked up some bad habbits.
Last week I mentioned Robert Kiyosaki’s book - Cashflow and in it is a very interesting exercise on helping you become a better person. It goes like this:
1. Write down the 6 people that you interact with on a daily basis. Not just your close friends and family, anyone whom you spend most of your time with frequently. Just the top 6.
2. Work out if these people have characteristics and personalities that reflect the sort of person that you want to be.
Its a very interesting exercise that really opens your eyes up. Keep in mind that it is no reflection on the people that you hang out with, but more so designed to make you think about if these people can really motivate and inspire you to become the person that you want to be in life.
For example, if you have dreams and ambitions of being debt free by the age of 30, but the top 6 people that you hang out with love to go out and spend a lot of money and don’t save at all, then chances are that it might take you a bit longer to reach your goals...or never reach them at all.
Robin Sharma is a passionate advocate of having good conversations with good people as it really expands your mind into new possibilities, or helps you to reinforce direction in your life. In this instance I think its excellent advice.
So I challenge you to list the top 6 people that you interact with on a daily basis and ask yourself “do they reflect the sort of person that I want to be?”
Dream, Build, Inspire, Lead!
AJ~
Author: AJ Kulatunga
Category:
dream, inspire, exercise
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Goal Setting
Sunday, 6th January 2008
Happy New Year Guys and Girls! Hope you all had a great time in celebrating new year’s eve and are ready to Dream, Build, Inspire, Lead! in 2008.
Every time the new year comes around everyone talks about what their new years resolutions are so I thought I’d spend this week’s post on goal setting and how to actually achieve your goals. Again, this is one of those topics that I could write a couple of books on but for right now here’s the gist of goal setting.
Anyone can easily say they have goals but very few people actually write them down. So this is step one. Write down all your goals and write them in present tense and be very specific what you want. For example if you have a goal of wanting to be an internationally famous movie star, then write something like “By December 31st 2008 I am an internationally famous movie star”.
The second step is to prioritise these goals and work out what is REALLY important for you to achieve right now. These become your current goals and what you will focus on, on a daily basis.
The third step is to review these goals as frequently as possible. The more you review the more current they are in your mind and all of your decision making becomes centred on achieving your goals.
Its weird how this actually works but the basic premise is when you write something down your sub conscious mind actually begins to create thoughts surrounding these ideas and eventually you recognise opportunities that will lead you to fulfilling these ideas. This is better explained by the universal law of attraction.
The final step in the goal setting process is an unusual one, but its quite important. The secret to achieving your goals, is to act like you already have achieved them. The biggest reason that people don’t achieve their goals is that they do not commit them to memory and spend time prioritising their daily activities in order to help them work towards achieving their goals, ie they don’t change the way they think in order to achieve a mindset that will actually help them achieve their goals.
I was reading Robert Kiyosaki’s book Cashflow Quadrant and in there is a snippet about goal setting. Robert talks about a goal setting seminar he once attended and the instructor provided some good examples of the importance of changing a person’s thinking in order to achieve their goals. One example was of a person who wants a perfect body. They go on a strict diet and exercise routine and they achieve their perfect body but are unable to maintain it for long periods of time because while they modified their diet and exercise routine, they did not modify their mindset and old habbits (which they’ve spent their whole lives developing) easily creep back. The whole premise of the seminar was “Be-Do-Have” which basically means BE the person whom you want to be, DO what that person does and HAVE goals that achieve this.
For example, say you want to lose those few extra kgs you put on for christmas. BE the person who has the great body, work out what they would DO to have achieved it, and maintain it and finally HAVE some goals that will help you achieve it. Its amazing what you can do by simply changing the way you think.
So good luck for 2008 and happy goal setting!
Dream, Build, Inspire, Lead!
AJ~
Author: AJ Kulatunga
Category:
dream, goal setting, robert kiyosaki
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